The Good and the Bad of Knowing Yourself Too Well

Have you ever noticed how much easier it is to critique or coach someone other than ourselves? Perhaps the adage Familiarity breeds contempt best describes this challenge.  While most people would say that knowing ourselves too well becomes a weakness (which I agree), I would add that it can also be a strength if we can slip on a pair of objective lens from time to time.
Let me explain.

There's a reason the plumber's spigot has a drip and the mechanic's car has a clink in it.  When we see the same things everyday, they become part of our landscape.  We become blind to what others see easily. This is why a REALTOR will give a seller a to-do list to the surprised homeowner before the home is ready to show. The homeowner thought it was ready to list. This is why a career consultant has to ask us fifty questions before we articulate our skills.

So this is a huge challenge because we learn to settle for less than the best. Whether we're dealing with housework, lawn maintenance, exercise, personal growth, or healthy diet planning, we struggle with seeing our blind spots.

The flip side of this is the good news.

Many of us have trouble identifying our strengths, skills, and abilities.  The term Tacit Knowledge refers to the skills and competencies that we perform without even realizing we are doing them.  We have mastered them to the point of being rote. Quite often we see this when a veteran teacher, mechanic, engineer or physician attempts to explain a process to someone who is brand new to the skill. At that point, the person with experience either grows extremely frustrated or realizes the steps in the process that she or he has learned so well that they had otherwise become invisible.

So here's the challenge: We have to learn to take a step away from ourselves and our surroundings long enough to objectively assess ourselves. What areas do we need to improve? What areas need attention? (That's the weakness.) What skills have I taken for granted?  What can I do that others struggle with? (That's the strength.)

If you're struggling with objectively assessing yourself, ask someone your trust and respect to help.

Do you have other tips for personal development?

Thoughts on Seabiscuit: The Importance of Team

As I am reading Seabiscuit by Laura Hillenbrand, there are many wonderful nuggets jumping off the pages.  I will do my best to share several of these with you in upcoming posts.  For now, I want to simply state the obvious point that the story makes: there is a strength and richness in a team that far exceeds the talents and gifts of the individual members.

Seabiscuit (the story) is really about four characters-- the owner, the trainer, the jockey and the horse. Hillenbrand does a wonderful work of introducing the audience to each one.  Not surprisingly, we find that each character, certainly with his own gifts and potential, was on a downhill slide-- not a complete failure, but far from where he dreamed he would be.

I love the way Hillenbrand ends chapter 6: "The scattered lives of Red Pollard, Tom Smith, and Charles Howard had come to an intersection. Their crowded hour had begun" (113). We see a wonderful picture of the convergence of gifts, talents, and shared ambition. We see the birth of a team-- the birth of a legend.

The Unexpected Layoff (pt. 4): Figure Out How You Are Wired

We all become creatures of habit, and as a result, we sometimes forget our own dreams, ambitions, and strengths in the trenches of the day-to-day. One good thing about a layoff is it forces us to stop and examine ourselves.  In some cases, someone may already know what he enjoys and is good at. In that case, it's just a matter of finding a position in the same field of work.  In other cases, we need to get some fairly objective feedback on our strengths, weaknesses and other personality traits before we can embark on a new direction.

One such profile that was a benefit to me is called Your Unique Design .  This is a very thorough profile that costs $35 and requires a bit of effort to complete. The results, though, are well worth it.

The other day, I pulled out a part of the report that it provided.  I was reminded of my three areas of strength as they relate to work.  I am most satisfied with my work when I am 1) initiating 2) influencing and 3) teaching.  As I continue to assess opportunities and ponder the next step, I plan to keep these three abilities in mind.  

If you don't have a good idea of how you are wired, perhaps a tool like Your Unique Design would help.